Translating Poetry Collected Virtual News: Poetry Pages

Un p'tit café?
a poem by Lilly03


Lilly03, the author, speaks: "In my poem I'm talking about me when I was 17 or 18 ... in the morning I took too much time to style my hair. It also took time for my long curls and makeup. I simply could not find the time for breakfast, so that's why I would take my small breakfast coffee next door to my work place. This poem speaks of those days."

Original in French
Un p'tit café ?

Presque aussi bon que sur le zinc !
Ah les petits matins
au bar du bistro parisien
avec les travailleurs qui discutent
et les grandes tartines que l'on beurre
assis sur le haut tabouret...

Et le patron qui parle
des nouvelles du quartier, de la rue...
connaissant chacun par son nom
et le percolateur qui fume...
Les collègues de travail
adressant un sourire
à la jeune dactylo
que j'étais
et qui prenait un p'tit crème
avant d'aller
d'vant sa machine
au bureau...
* Lilly * ©

NiWi is a bilingual friend of Lilly03, who does translate. She translated Lilly's poem for Lilly03 from French to English. Lilly provided the translation to CVN, providing us with additional understanding and NiWi's translation preceded our own effort at a literary, rather than literal translation of the text.

NiWi's Translation:
A Li'l coffee?
Almost as good as at the café on the zinc-topped bar,
Ah little mornings
at the bar
of the parisian bistro
with workers chatting
and the big pieces of bread that you butter
sitting on the high stool...

And the boss who's talking
about the neighbourhood news, about the street...
knowing everyone's name
and the smoking percolator...

Colleagues
sending a smile
at the young dactylograph
that I was
and who were having a li'l espresso with milk
before going
in front of her typewriter
at office...

jdb's Translation: My translation goal in this poem is to convey the feeling, give a sense of the day, and reduce words wherever possible, as I translate to American usage. I am a brave writer (maybe just crazy). I've "edited" Whitman, Frost, and Shakespeare to the horror of my daughter, my wife, and others who have never told me... THAT'S their problem, not mine. Here is Lilly's Poem:

A small coffee?
Almost as good as being at the café with the zinc-topped bar,
Ah short mornings
at the bar
of the Parisian bistro
workers chatting
big pieces of bread that you butter
sitting on the high stool...

And the boss talking
about the neighborhood news, about the street...
knowing everyone's name
and the steaming percolator...

Colleagues
sending a smile
at the young typist
that I was
having a li'l espresso with my milk
before going
in front of the typewriter
at the office...

Translation of this poem using FREE online Translation services ONLY


1: http://translate.google.fr/

A little coffee?
Almost as good as on the bar!
Ah mornings
Parisian bistro bar
with workers who discuss
and large slices that are butter
sitting on the bar stool ...

And the boss speaks
new neighborhood, street ...
knowing each by name
percolator and smokes ...

Coworkers
Addressing a smile
the young typist
I was
and took a cream p'tit
before going
Vant to his machine
office ...
* Lilly * ©

Using online Translation services
2: http://translation.babylon.com/french/to-english/ A small coffee? Almost as good as at counter!
Ah small hours
with the bar of the Parisian bar
with the workers who discuss
and the large slices of bread which one butters
sitted on the high stool…
And the owner who speaks
news of the district, street…
knowing each one by its name
and the percolator which smokes…
Colleagues addressing a smile
with the young
typist
that I was
and which took a cup of white coffee before going
of vant its machine
at the office…

* Lilly * ©

Using online Translation services
3. http://www.freetranslation.com

A p'tit coffee?
Almost as good as on the zinc!
Ah the small bar each morning
of the Parisian bistro
with the workers who discuss and
the large french toast that butter
sitting on the high stool ...

And the boss, who spoke
of the new from the neighborhood, the street ...
knowing each by its name
and the percolator who smokes ...

The colleagues of work
addressing a smile the
young typist
that i was,
and who was taking a p'tit cream
before going to reformulate its machine
at the office ...

* Lilly * ©

Using online Translation services
http://webtranslation.paralink.com/French-English-Translation/

A p' tit coffee?
Almost so good as on zinc!
Ah the small mornings
in the bar of the Parisian bistro
with the workers who discuss
and big canapes which they spread with butter
sat on the high footstool...
And the boss who speaks
news of the quarter, the street...
knowing each by its name
and the coffee machine which smokes...

The working colleagues
addressing a smile
to the dactylo young person
that I was
and which took a cream p' tit
before going
of vant the machine
in the office...
* Lilly * ©

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