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Day one
by b1a1b, CL The Campus
Today I started the journey towards what I hope is a new me in more ways than one. Today I started the pre-surgery diet for my lap band surgery. For those of you who don't know what lap band is, let me explain. The lap band is an actual band that will go around the top part of my stomach and it is designed to regulate the amount of food that I am able to intake. The lap band will take my from what I normally would call a meal to what is actually a healthy amount to eat. Imagine going from what was probably close to 3000 calories a day to going to less than 1000 calories; this is how it helps you lose weight. The amount of food that will fill my up is equivalent to nine pinky fingernails after the surgery. The diet I am on pre-surgery consist of two protein shakes a day and then one small real meal, all of which must equal less than 800 calories AND it must contain at least 60 g of protein. So today I have had a protein shake, one special k protein water and two piece of fat free beef jerky! (all of which.. sucked)
I have to keep telling myself that this is all going to be worth it, and I believe it will. I deserve to feel better about myself and the things I do. I deserve to be a happy guy with a healthy heart and a future and I will achieve it, one way or another. I decided to write a daily blog here on my facebook about the experience, not because anyone will be particularly interested about a fat kid losing weight but because maybe someone else will read this and decide to change their life.
I also must give my thanks to a few people for even making this possible. My hero and guide and example in this is Annette Wilkins, she has had this done and let me tell you about amazing. There is actually nothing more amazing than this girl and her life. She is actually a hero of mine, and if you knew her.. she would be one of yours also. Next would be my parents who are paying a large sum for this and my dads insurance also. United Healthcare is one of the only two insurance providers in Arkansas that actually consider being overweight an issue. Next of course would be Adrienne and Donavon. They are actually doing the diet with me and encouraging me every step of the way so far. Poor Adrienne has had a total of a shake and a cup of yougart.. yum.
For more information on lap band:
http://www.luttrellsurgical.com/
http://www.lapband.com/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lap_band
Day Two I would like to tell all of you about the success that today has had in it, but I cant. I would like to tell you how thrilled I am to be going through this life change but that at this moment would seem to be just mere bullshit and I refuse to do that. I was doing great all through work, I passed up the delicious looking donuts and didnt pay attention to everyone else eating around me. I was doing so well! Then on the way home I hit an ice patch and flipped my truck over a bridge and into a ravine. The truck is currently still sideways into the ravine and I had to crawl my fat ass out through the back window where the glass was punched out. I have bruises all over my body, ate an entire package of fat free beef jerky which I am sure wasnt good regardless of what you call fat free. I then also ate some chicken and rice which would have been enough if I wouldn't have then went back and made some terriaki chicken. So I defiantly did not make my eight hundred calories today. It was probably more like 1200 calories so I either have to cut some for the rest of the week or figure something out. I have always been an emotional eater, when I become upset or stressed I eat and cant help it. Its not something I am proud of but I think its the truth. I remember when my mom and dad got divorced when I was little, I used to sneak into the kitchen in the morning and ate an entire bag of Doritos. It wasn't until I was in therapy did I figure out that this is what I was doing. I noticed more of this today when I began to miss food and wonder if I was making the right choice. The thought actually went through my head that maybe it would be better just to die fat and unhealthy but have my comfort than to be the other way, this is the thought process of a crazy man. Wish me luck for tommorrow
Tuesday, January 27, 2009 at 2:10am
Day three so today marked the third day of the diet and i wish i could tell you that it was a wonderful thing but its been one of the hardest things i have ever had to do. I think anyone who is overweight will understand what its like to do this food becomes important and almost something to look forward to on a daily basis. I am almost afraid that i will miss food and it will cause that part of life to not be so joyful. Mom and nanny were extra supportive today. I am moving on
Friday, January 30, 2009 at 3:22am
Day Four Today was an easy day actually, I figured out that my biggest issues was eating when I was bored or emotional so until I have my surgery I am avoiding becoming those things and at work it is easy. Work is training for ATT so right now it is BORING!
Friday, January 30, 2009 at 3:46pm
I have been drinking these shakes, they are called chike shakes and well they taste like crap but they make up a good part of the 60 g of protein I have a day. My hair started to come out a little big today in the shower. I found out this can happen from lack of protein so I am taking some protein and zinc and a daily multi vitimin so I can stay healthy and keep my hair in place.
I would just like to give a shout out to all the people on here who have been so encouraging, every time I want to reach for that sandwich or have that extra calories all of your encouragement helps me keep on.
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