Okay folks, whether you were eagerly awaiting the inauguration of this column or not, here it is! While this column will be censored by our... editor, jdb, I would like to carefully remind all our readers that if you send questions to my inbox to please keep them courteous. No slanderous, vicious, mean, vile or evil remarks please. (Call me!!!!!!!!!) and keep in mind our bottom line: Let's have fun. If you think your questions need permission from whomever you may be writing in on, about or are picking on, etc. then please get that permission, before writing.!
Okay, that is done! Onward to our very first two questions:
Dear Dusty, It seems that in my advancing age, I find myself to be tripping almost everywhere I go. What can I do to stop it? Or is it a sign of advancing age?
Dear Tripping, My suggestion to you is to tie your shoelaces. Tht alone can stop many trips in their tracks. However, an appropriate pair of eye glasses may also be called for. See your eye doctor....er if you can actually see the doc!
Dear Dusty, I am a chronic nail biter and now my younger son is also. What can I do to break this habit of mine and my son's habit too!
Dear Nail Biter(s), There are a number of old wives tales about breaking these nail biting habits. ONE is to wear boxing gloves! It is a proven stopgap measure. Limiting dexterity also, sadly. However, in lieu of boxing gloves, which can prove burdensome, I would suggest you just might try using latex gloves. Rubber never tastes good! Our test subjects are still spitting.
Another old remedy is to coat your nails with some kind of bitter or burning substance. Be careful on what you use in this prevention technique, as you or your skin could suffer severe reactions to the chemicals in the solution! Some effective, but definitely NOT recommended substances, include ignited gasoline, painful acids, concrete, and a fabulous selection of possible poisons. These "solutions", will all cure the habit but really hurt the subject. Fatalities may result...97.65% of the time, depending on the specific solution selected. The actual death rate may vary, please consult your own statistician for exact details and variances...
Until next time Bye! *waves*
dusttodust
