This column will be censored, edited and generally picked over and at by our... editor, jdb. In order to KEEP my job, I would like to carefully remind all our readers that if you send questions to my inbox, please keep them courteous. No slanderous, vicious, mean, vile or evil remarks please. (just call me!!!!!!!!!) and keep in mind our bottom line: Let's have fun. If you think your questions need permission from whomsoever you may be writing in, on, about, or are picking on, teasing, want to kill, hurt, maim, or even please, then please get permission, before writing.! We will blithely assume you did!
Okay, the basic CYOBS (Cover your own back side) behavior is as final as is our our own commentary! This week I received several pet questions, while I cannot answer all of them this time, maybe at a future date. It depends on your reactions... We shall see! Onward to our next three questions:
Dear Dusty, Out on the street, my neighbor's cat is a real bully. What should I do?
Dear Cat Bully Victim, My first suggestion to you is to tie your shoelaces. Oh that was last week's answer.... My second suggestion is the owner of that bully cat may not be aware of his cat's behavior.so let him/her know! Just say: "Unfortuantely, I have seen Tiger in action attacking a few cats (dogs, postmen, elephants...whatever) in the area, including (me, my wife, child, house, car, my cat, etc.) today. Have you considered keeping him inside?" Now this may not be the only solution so consult and animal behavior expert, or police-if a felonious cat- for more solid advice!
Dear Dusty, My friend lets her cat roam all over the kitchen counters. Can I object?
Dear Cat Roamer's Friend, No!!!!!!! You'd never think of criticizing a host's messy bathroom!! Or...would you? Well, this is no different. So do your best to keep your thoughts and comments to yourself. If it concerns you so much THAT you cannot deal with it, then take a raincheck on her next invitation or simply invite your friend, ALONE, to your house!
And ... depending on your friendship level, it may be possible to tell your friend and explain your concerns. But don't sound critical. Concerned may be the right note. It IS a potential health concern. Keep in mind, that some people are cat fanatics, so be careful. Some people value cats more than people! If this friendship is important to you, BE CAREFUL.
Dear Dusty, My neighbor lets her dog 'water" my lawn every morning. Yes, Poop woudl be worse ... but all that not-poop is killing my grass! How can I get him to stop?
Dear Watered Lawn, Many pet owners who are vigilent about scooping don't hesitate to let thier dogs relieve themselves on their neighbors lawns. Could you try speaking to the owner directly? :P Try: " I'd appreciate it if you could walk your dog Fang into the street or onto the edge of a nearby vacant lot, park (or police station?). When he goes (waters, praises, celebrates or urinates) on my lawn, it kills the grass!" If you get a positive response, be sure to add a "Thanks a lot!" Making a specific --but polite-- request may convince the owner to take a detour! Now, if you get a discourteous response, you might gently suggest that your lawyer, the police and the local newspaper might be interested in this story. They may actually be interested. OR you could enthusiatically tell this dog owner about that brand new rifle or shotgun you have been dying to try out...
Note: if you like this column, and hope I can answer some of your questions, please feel free to leave me an inbox with your questions! Always make sure you questions are not of a derogatory nature and if they concern friends or even those you dislike, make sure you get permission to send in your question! The editor is very strict on this and some of my answers may have some of his humor injected!* So be prepared for TWO opinions! rofl This is only a fun column, so be nice to your neighbors! Rofl
* Editors disclaimer: We ain't responsible for nuttin honey!
