This column will be reviewed, edited and censored by our... editor, jdb. I would like to carefully remind all our readers that if you send questions to my inbox to please keep them courteous. No slanderous, vicious, mean, vile or evil remarks please. (Call me!!!!!!!!!) and keep in mind our bottom line: Let's have fun. If you think your questions need permission from whomever you may be writing in on, about or are picking on, etc. then please get that permission, before writing.!
This week's Dear Dusty consists of three of those personal questions on love and truth which invade our minds, sometimes too often! Hopefully some of these questions will be answered for you today!
Dear Dusty, Is there a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone?
Dear Difference, Well, I think the best way to answer this question is that if your phone rings at 2 am ... (Drat! I thought I turned that thing off!) then the last voice you want to hear is that of a loved one! But should you be in love that changes in an instant. That is always the voice you DO want to hear! ...Depending on your mood of course! LOL
Dear Dusty, I have often heard the expression that Love is blind. My question is: Is love blind? And if it is Why?
Dear Blind Love, Personally I really don't think love is blind, but in some cases it could certainly use a pair of glasses! Brains are always good optional equipment too.
I am sure one of your parents has told you that Love blindness is due to spending too much time in the dark! You should always carry a flashlight for just such emergencies. In the case of power outages, you know!
Dear Dusty, Is it better to tell the truth and hurt someone, or to lie and spare people's feelings?
Dear Truthful, I cannot speak for others, but only for myself. I would much rather hear bad truths rather than nice lies, because I cannot not fix things if I don't know whether they are broke or not! Little white lies are usually no better than complete, full blown lies and the problems resulting will never be mended until the truth is out! Our tongues, while small, can be used as deadly weapons and cause great harm! We all know people like that. So personally I choose to be honest and truthful rather than to paint a counterfeit picture of pretty lies!
What jdb? oh ok, put words in my mouth *rolls eyes* Go ahead:
Truth is important. It tends to come out even if a State secret. But there is wiggle room in how and when you present it. There are five overriding factors to consider.
Do you know the truth?
Do they know the truth?
Does the individual or group need to know the truth now?
Are they open or receptive to hearing the truth?
How can I present the truth effectively
If the truth is known and needed immediately, it can't wait, then skip the others, you're in an emergency. Examples:
Stop! That button deletes all files! (You certainly don't begin with " That's my computer, you bloody computer illiterate..." or poof and files are gone. And, if they already know that truth, you are probably beginning from scrtch anywy.)
Stop! There is a child behind the car! (You certainly don't present it with "You **** idiot, you don't know how to drive..." because by then an angry driver has run over the child.
If the truth is going to be merely painful or even totally devastating to the other person, then presentation is vital:
Children, and sometimes adults too, ask or state their perceptions:
"Am I stupid?" (you may really want to yell "YES!!!!", but that is not truth!)
"Are you disappointed" (implied here is a silent "in me")?" Again you may want to yell that "yes", but that is also not the truth here!
The truth may be that we are disappointed in the choice, action, or behavior. That is what needs to be stated by saying: " I'm not disappointed in you! I'm disappointed in the choice you made." Then discuss it...
Or you can offer that two ton gorilla holding a knife at your throat... "Want a banana?" Food is often a warm and gentle way to begin a serious discussion.
Or when responding to that over excited utterance: My Children are gone! Can you help?
Answering with the hard truth of a "yes, it will only cost you 6, 000, 000 dollars.... may be inappropriate. Better would be to offer comfort and await the delivery of your ransom note.
Okay folks I sincerely hope these answers are satisfying to most of you and as the ole cliché goes: You can never please all of the people all of the time, but sometimes you please the few!
Until next week search your souls and find that goodness that lies within us all! I am still waiting for comments on my articles in my inbox! If you like these articles then either email or inbox me or (hint hint) my Editor with your remarks and comments! And be TRUTHFUL! How else will I be able to improve? .
Hugs and have a great week. Bye! *waves*
dusttodust
