Dear Aynnie,

I swear I have the worst rash ever on my bum! I have tried all sorts of lotions and potions in an effort to ease my pain, all to no avail! What ever do I do?
Signed,
Owies!

Dear Owies,
After close consultation (2 minutes!) with my dictionary, your bum sounds like he needs to have a flea dip. Where did you pick up that flea? Were you by any chance in the Cyberhood? Or the Flea Market?
With distant hugz
Aynnie

ps -you might try putting the lotion on the bum, not on your face.
~~~

Dear Aynnie,

My boyfriend is cheating on me. How do I get him to stop?
Signed,
Forlorn

Dear Forlorn,
Once a cheater, always a cheater. Kick his bootay to the nearest curb, and don't let him come back. Be sure he is on the street or in the road. Hopefully a truck will run over him.
With firm hopes
Aynnie
~~

Dear Aynnie,
Every time I try to get a job in Cybertown, I'm turned down. What should I do?
Signed,
Jobless in Adventure

Dear Jobless,
Try taking a shower before you go to an interview. I can smell that B.O. through this 'puter!! *Wow 3D AND smell-o-rama*
Spraying with Lysol
Aynnie
ps -Have you checked the city-wide blacklist yet? Well, take some whiteout with you when you go. (it works so well on the screen!)

See? Wasn't hat was fun! Now, go on with your exciting so important Soap Opera Age lives and let me go back to sleep!

...OR click on "Horrific Predictions" to see what our wonderful, terrific, future looks like!